"Well," she said in her matter-of-fact Irish way. "You know the fat in a piece of pork. If you imagine going at it for a while with a pokey thing" (can't remember what she said - stick? skewer? screwdriver?) "you'd get a load of holes in it, wouldn't you? That's what you've got inside your belly — a load of holes that the remaining fat needs to fill. So the tight pants push the stomach down and spread the fat around (it's fluid, you know) — and it fills the holes."
Well! It's amazing what food you can learn from. And, quite by coincidence, we had pork chops for dinner.
*My mother-in-law's so fat, you can make hang-gliders out of her knickers. (Apparently mother-in-law jokes are back. It said so in the Daily Mail, so it must be true. Is this one of Les Dawson's? Answers on a postcard, please.)